The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

1

My wife and I share the same sense of humour.

Previous Dates

0

Tell me ONE thing wrong with overstocking grocery shelves. Go on.

9

People told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic

0

Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.

1

How did the whale defend itself?

1

I've developed a fear of negative numbers.

1

What is Santa’s religion?

0

Knock-knock! Who's there? Albee. Albee who?

0

What did the fat girl say to the pig?

1

To determine the gender of a parrot you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he's a male...

0

How does the ocean say hello?

1

I was going to tell a railway joke..

0

Who is a dog's favorite comedian?

1

I'll never forget the last thing that Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket:

0

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it...

0

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

1

If you bury someone in the wrong place,

0

“Dear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”

0

Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

0

A horse walks into a bar...

0

Why are the Avengers so good with tools?

0

Why do barbers make good drivers?

0

If prisoners could take their own mugshots what would they be called?

0

You know what actually makes me smile?

0

How do ponies communicate with each other?

0

If I dont perfect human cloning..

0

What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?

0

A cop left a nice note on my windshield to let me know I'd parked my car correctly...

0

I was arrested for stealing cooking utensils

0

The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.

0

Why didn't the dad shower before telling his joke?

0

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?