The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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Did you hear about the new dating site for retired chemists?

Previous Dates

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I went to the air and space museum yesterday

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I only believe in 12.5% of the bible

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You know why I like egg puns?

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I just figured out why Beyoncé’s hair is always blowing in every picture.

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What is a frog's favorite drink?

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I once swallowed a book of synonyms.

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my wife asked me why i type everything in lower case.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

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Step 1: Name your dog 5 miles.

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What makes more noise than a T-rex?

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My friend bit off his tongue.

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Why don’t crabs donate?

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My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.

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How do you know if a sniper likes you?

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Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.

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What did the ex of Ed Sheeran do?

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What is black and white and sits on a swing?

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What is white, stands in front of the stairs, and can’t go up?

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What type of people never get angry?

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What do ducks smoke?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

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My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.

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I don’t know why people have a problem with wigs.

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I’m terrified of elevators…

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My deaf wife just told me that “we need to talk.”

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Keep the Earth clean.

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Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”