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I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they are standing.
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
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What word is always spelled wrong in the dictionary?
Wrong.
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"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing..
Unless you're at a funeral.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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