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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
I had to draw my own conclusions.
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Previous Dates
1
What do you call bears with no ears?
B
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0
Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?
Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
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I can cut down a tree by just looking at it
It’s true I saw it with my own two eyes
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Mom bought me some camouflage cargo pants.
She will never see me in them.
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You can't run through a camp site.
You can only ran, because it's past tents.
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Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?
Because it hertz your ears!
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0
What did the DJ name his newborn son?
Eric
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I’m so good at sleeping…
I can do it with my eyes closed!
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Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me.
It means a lot.
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Converting the number 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals doesn’t just make me mad....
It makes me LIVID.
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I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said,
‘You.’
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Have you heard about the pope's kitten addiction?
He's a catoholic
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Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
He was feeling crummy.
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0
Does anyone know how to catch a polar bear?
First cut a hole in the ice and throw some peas in it... then hide, when the polar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole....
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The Only Thing Flat-Earthers Fear...
is sphere itself.
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Did you hear about the human cannonball?
Too bad he got fired!
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1
I'm going to start a bar and call it "the Morgue"
It's a place where you can crack open a cold one with the boys.
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1
How did the whale defend itself?
With a swordfish.
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0
I was arrested for stealing cooking utensils
But it was worth the whisk
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0
What is a row of iron cats?
A [Fe] line.
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0
When do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
When it's full.
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What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
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What do you call an old, Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
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My wife says I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid
Joke's on her, I can stop whenever I like
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0
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?
Because she kept running from the ball!
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Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut.
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If spaghetti made an action movie, what would it be called?
Mission impastable
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Why was Nala so upset with Simba?
He was always lion.
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What did the fat girl say to the pig?
Da-hammm
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What happens when a Male rectangle sees a female rectangle?
It becomes an erectangle
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I watched a movie about graphs last night, but I was slightly disappointed.
The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.
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Joke of the Day
When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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