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When my wife was still pregnant I used to say
that our baby was in his one womb apartment.
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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I had a friend who always said...
I put the sexy in dyslexic
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Somebody said that my father is older than dirt.
It's not true-he discovered it.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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