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While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused...
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What did they call the first emperor of Rome who had epilepsy?
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I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"
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What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.

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