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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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If pronouncing my B’s as V’s makes me sound russian...
Then soviet.
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I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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I stubbed my toe against a gold bar
Au Au Au
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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