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As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut exactly 3,141 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
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What did the ground say to the oil worker?
"You bore me."
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Do windmills like punk rock?
No, but they’re big metal fans.
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What is Mozart doing right now?
Decomposing!
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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