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If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it...
... then my illegal logging operation is a great success.
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What do you call a whore who is also a vegan?
A Herbi-whore
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Have you heard about the new movie Constipation?
It hasn't come out yet.
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Justice is a dish best served cold,
if it were served warm it would be justwater.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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