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My stoner friend used my daily planner to roll up a joint…
He’s now high on my list of priorities.
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My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
She craves anarchy.
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Why don't developers carry guns?
They have troubleshooting.
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My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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