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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime.
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Today me and my wife caught our son burning down a house
We held each other's hand and said "that's arson"
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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1
My middle school once had an anti-bulling activity and our teacher all told us "If you see something, say something!"
The blind kid didn't say a word for the rest of the school year.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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