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Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable.
I can always count on them.
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What is an epileptic's favourite appetiser?
Seizure salad
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink, bartender looks at him and says
"for you, no charge."
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Me: wanna hear a joke about $1,000 Her: sure
Me: K
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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