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I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?" I replied, "Exactly!"
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Why are foot injuries so serious?
... because they take so long to heel.
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What do you call a group of security guards in front of the Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
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Why are mountains funny?
Because they're hill areas
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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