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When you go to bed you may be American
But when you wake up late for work you’re Russian!
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Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
He met with too many cracks on the way.
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Send me words of encouragement so I don't murder my boss.
There is no Netflix in prison.
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Why was the pancake arrested?
Because he was behaving un-waffle-ly
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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