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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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The world champion tounge twister got arrested the other day
I heard they're going to give him a tough sentence
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I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"
I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!" Everyone laughed... Well, everyone except this one guy.
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A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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