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My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
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Why did the Mexican take some Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
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You have to act quickly during a flood.
Because it's an emergent sea.
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Somebody just gave me a free air guitar
No strings attached.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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