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Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A Civil Serpent.
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Why is 19 afraid of 20?
Because they got in a fight once and 21.
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Why do hair dressers always get places faster?
Because they know all the short cuts.
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My dog is really good at playing fetch
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