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Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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Today, I accidentally played dad instead of dead when a bear was running at me
He can now ride a bike without training wheels
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Wife: "Honey, I'm Pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad" Wife: "No you're not...."
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What is the opposite of a croissant?
A happy uncle.
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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