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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend
Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV
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My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
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Don't blame others for the road you're on.
It's your own asphalt.
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I made a graph showing my past relationships..
It was an ex axis and a why axis.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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