The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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What does a didgeridoo?

My wife gave birth to our child today. Everything went well, the baby is healthy and I'm very happy

Never become an archaeologist

Burned my Hawaiian pizza today,

Did you know trees can do math?

Living on earth is expensive

I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.

Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!

I don't trust these trees

What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?

As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut exactly 3,141 trees.