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The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.
She's still not talking to me.
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I broke my finger last week.
On the other hand, I'm okay.
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A frog says, "Ribbit, Ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, Rub it".
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The only decisions bar tenders make...
are pour decisions
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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