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Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, you're an ambulance!
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My girlfriend said that quilts are better than duvets.
I told her she should be careful making blanket statements like that.
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I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
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Did you know that Cardi B has a sister that is into fitness?
Her name is Cardi O.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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