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Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal!
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
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A magician was driving down the street.
Then he turned into a driveway.
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I'll never forget the last thing that Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket:
"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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