The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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My dog is really good at playing fetch

Previous Dates

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Do you know how I embrace my mistakes?

13

What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?

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What did the unborn twins say when they were hungry?

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The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

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What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?

2

I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10 am

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I used to hate facial hair

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When debating letters, you always want "i" and "j" on your team.

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I wanted to impress my friends, so I learned how to improve my guitar skills.

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What do French people say when riding a roller coaster?

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Who is a horses best friend?

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I’m not super experienced with wood carving.

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I needed a password eight characters long

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Did you hear about the circus fire?

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Working out is like a drug to me.

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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…

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A sheep dog says to the farmer, "I'm going to round up the sheep." The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep."

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What do you call a blind deer?

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What do you call a dead lizard?

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Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?

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My wife and I lost 100 lbs combined!

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I've developed a fear of negative numbers.

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I can cut wood by looking at it

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Unlike Fathers day,

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Husband: Help! My wife is going into labor! 911 Operator: Is this her first child?

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Did you know that Iceland...

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You can't run through a camp site.

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Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

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Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.

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A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.

1

I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death