The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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My dog is really good at playing fetch

Previous Dates

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I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.

1

What do you call bears with no ears?

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I bought my friend an elephant for her room.

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My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.

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At any given moment, the urge to sing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”

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What do Romanians do when they're tired?

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Shout out to my grandma.

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Did you hear about the fight in the chip shop?

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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

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The iPhone vs Android debate has to stop!

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What are a communist's favorite units of time?

5

People say that I am self-centred

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My wife says I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid

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When you go to bed you may be American

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I gave all my dead batteries away today…

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Want to hear a joke about pee?

-2

Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

1

My dad bought me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

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I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory

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Why was it called the Dark Ages?

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What does Keanu Reeves use to dry his tears when Keanu Grieves?

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Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.

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My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.

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I'm trying to get my son into books.

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Why can't dogs play video games?

1

What do you call leftover lettuce?

1

A good romance starts with a good friendship. A bad romance on the other hand starts with...

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I have always wondered what it would be like to use a professional telescope.

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Did you hear about the football team that doesn't have a website