The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.

Previous Dates

3

My son is a man trapped in a woman’s body.

0

Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?

0

Why was the Argentine man shaky?

0

I ordered a book of puns last week,

0

My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.

1

My dad bought me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.

0

I won the "Most Secretive Guy" award in our office today.

0

How often should a person make a chemistry joke?

0

How do you know if a potato had a great day?

0

Why was the pancake arrested?

1

I know this awesome guy who created a perfect joke everyone still laughs at after 34 years.

0

What weighs less than blue ?

0

My clock broke.

0

"Hey dad, I'm taking a shower"

0

Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

6

There is a cult where they don’t believe in using coins.

0

Can't imagine someone not understanding what erectile dysfunction is

0

What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?

0

Why didn't the dad shower before telling his joke?

0

I quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big or strong enough.

0

Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

0

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

0

How does Moses make coffee?

1

How do celebrities stay cool?

0

Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...

0

Justice is a dish best served cold,

-1

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused novocaine during his root canal?

0

When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave

0

What Do You Call A Cheap Circumcision?

1

I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.

2

How do short people cut their pizza?