The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

I was kidnapped by mimes once

Previous Dates

-2

A midget stumbles out of the bar...

0

What does a turtle do on their birthday?

0

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

0

When's the best time to go to the dentist?

0

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

1

What do you call a horse that moves around a lot?

1

A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

3

I was so bored sitting at home that I memorized six pages of the dictionary.

0

Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.

0

I love politically incorrect jokes. Here’s my favorite.

0

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink…

1

I scared my neighbor with my new power tool

0

"Dad, will the pizza be long?"

0

Where did Captain Hook get his hook?

1

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!

0

I ordered a book of puns last week,

0

What do women and google have in common?

0

What do you call 52 pieces of bread?

0

The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.

3

What is the Devil's favorite spice?

0

What do you call a group of security guards in front of the Samsung store?

0

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

0

I asked my wife to pick up a pumpkin to make pumpkin pie. When she said she couldn't find one at the store, I told her,

1

I don't like anti-maskers

0

What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?

0

Dad jokes are the best and heres why

0

My girlfriend likes to take the stairs but I prefer taking the elevator

5

If anyone gets a DM from me about canned meat, don't open it!

0

No one: literally no one:

0

What did the undertaker say when he realized he'd buried the wrong coffin?

0

It is okay if you don’t know what “prefix” means.