The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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My dog is really good at playing fetch

Previous Dates

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My dad is forbidden from buying alcohol since he started working in the coal mine

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My son needed help with his writing homework. 'Is it further or farther?' he asked me.

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Why are frogs so happy?

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I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.

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Wife: "Honey, I'm Pregnant."

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What's more amazing than a talking dog?

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Big shoutout to my great grandmother!

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I gave all my dead batteries away today…

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

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My friend gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital

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What does Superman have in his drink?

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"How did you sleep last night?"

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Why did the dentist stick some X-rays in his mouth?

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.

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My daughter was playing with my computer when she broke the R button and tried to eat it.

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Why are mints so smart?

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I would post a joke from my watch

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Why didn't the dad shower before telling his joke?

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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

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I love telling dad jokes.

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I once made a belt out of watches

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Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.

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Did you know most people are assholes?

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For years, my parents sent me to a child psychologist.

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You know what really makes my day?

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Did you hear about the human cannonball?

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Two drunk guys were fighting. One of them drew a line in the dirt, and said if the other crossed it they would punch them in the face.

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What did the scientists say while freezing at absolute zero?

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My last annual performance review said I lacked passion and intensity.

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I never let my kid watch an orchestra on TV.

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Spring is here!