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What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?
The polar bear.
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"Hey dad, I'm taking a shower"
"Alright, make sure to bring it back"
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I can't believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician...
I was just sitting around doing nothing.
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My stoner friend used my daily planner to roll up a joint…
He’s now high on my list of priorities.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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