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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
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My neighbor told me he only sleeps standing up.
But everyone knows he lies a lot.
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My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?
You stop pretending.
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Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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