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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!
Psychiatrist: Sit over there. I'll deal with you later!
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The doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body.
Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
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My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
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My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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