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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
These jokes about boomerangs are really getting out of hand...
And then back into hand.
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Previous Dates
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What are a communist's favorite units of time?
Hours.
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I like playing chess with old people in the park...
But it's kind of hard to find 32 of them.
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Why is 19 afraid of 20?
Because they got in a fight once and 21.
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An old lady in bank asked me if I can check her balance
so I pushed her over.
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I invented a new game called Silent Tennis.
It’s like regular tennis but without the racquet.
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0
Why are there no knock-knock jokes in America?
Because freedom rings
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1
I know this awesome guy who created a perfect joke everyone still laughs at after 34 years.
Thanks for everything, dad.
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1
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“You know, one would have been enough.”
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0
What makes a dad joke a dad joke?
The punchline has to be apparent.
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What fish is the best fighter?
The swordfish.
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My girlfriend left me because I'm insecure
Nevermind she's back she just went to pee
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Dad, I'm hungry!
Hi Hungry, I'm dad!
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1
The hardest part of learning to ride a bike is
the pavement.
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0
Why was the Argentine man shaky?
Due to his-panic attacks
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Your dad is in prison and he has a stutter.
He's never going to finish his sentence.
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0
Did you hear about the football team that doesn't have a website
They can't string three Ws together.
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0
Wanna hear something breathtaking
Asthma
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0
Once a man assaulted me with milk, butter, and cheese.
How dairy.
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How do you tuna fish?
You raise or lower the scales.
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0
Which cult is the toughest?
Difficult
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1
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“You know, one would have been enough.”
REVEAL ANSWER
1
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea!
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0
What did the bear say when he called customer service?
Just bear with me here.
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0
What language do geese speak?
Portugeese..
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0
I’m always right...
... except for one time I thought that I was wrong about something, but it turned out I was right.
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0
I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
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Where does seaweed look to find a job?
In the "Kelp Wanted" section.
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0
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
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Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants?
They give him good case ideas.
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How do you call the smartest mountain?
Cleverest!
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Joke of the Day
These jokes about boomerangs are really getting out of hand...
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