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Did you hear about the dumb guy who got fired from his job at the M&M's factory?
He kept throwing away all the candies that had W's on them.
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Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't great...
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What did Beethoven become after he died?
A decomposer.
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I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
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I’m so bored that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.
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