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Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Her coach was a pumpkin and she was always running away from the ball.
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I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said: "Sure, knock yourself out!"
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Why is a minnow always the first suspect for a crime?
Because he's always a little fishy.
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What do you do after an Apple turns bad?
You open windows.
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You know what actually makes me smile?
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