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Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells?
Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big.
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Mom: I thought you said you were running away with the circus.
Daughter: I did, but the police made me bring it back.
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What type of magazines do cows read?
Cattlelogs.
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Interviewer: We're looking for someone who is responsible. Do you fit that criteria?
Candidate: Well, in my last job when the store caught fire, my boss said that I was responsible.
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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