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A skeleton walks into a bar
He asks for a glass of beer and a mop
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What did the tree do when the bank was closed?
It started its own branch.
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Did you know that name-dropping at work is the worst thing you can do?
My coworker Robert De Niro told me that.
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I asked my wife what she thought of my peeing skills, on a scale of 1-10...
She said “urinate”
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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