The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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I gave a PS5 to my girlfriend..

Previous Dates

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Keep the Earth clean.

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Dad, what's a forklift?

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How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?

1

Why does seaguls live by the sea?

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I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary

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Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.

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My son turned 27, so he's no longer covered by my health insurance.

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Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend

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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

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Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back.

2

I heard this guy whispering a lot of Pokemon jokes to his friend...

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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

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You can tell the gender of any animal by just throwing a pebble at it.

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A sketchy guy just came into my shop and bought six smoke machines. So I called the cops.

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What do sprinters eat before a race?

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What do you do after an Apple turns bad?

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Alligators can grow up to 13 feet.

4

Thought I heard someone say “Hello” in Arabic

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A Chinese child was born before his due date...

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I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.

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Why did the pencil get flushed down the toilet?

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What do call a dinosaur without gold?

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What did the flower say to the bicycle?

1

What is the opposite of a croissant?

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I think my iPhone's broken

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Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?

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Do you think..

-1

My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"

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If you suck at playing the trumpet,

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My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.

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I have a Russian friend who is a sound technician.