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Doctor: I'm afraid your DNA is backwards, sir.
Me: AND?
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Three candies you'll find in every school: Nerds, DumDums, and Smarties.
One you'll hear in any classroom: Snickers.
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What fish tastes best with peanut butter...
Jellyfish.
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What did the vegetarian say to the doctor?
I feel good from my head tomatoes.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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