Riddles
Categories
Login
Submit
Type to search for Riddle here.
Jokes
Login
Submit Joke
The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
My dad wanted me to become a fruit farmer like him but I always told him I was scared to do it.
So he told me to grow a pear.
REVEAL ANSWER
Previous Dates
0
Being a cardiac surgeon...
Would be a heart wrenching experience.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?
He goes under cover.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
Pull down your pants and show him your nuts.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My wife said I was immature.
So I told her to get out of my fort.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do thieves make their weapons from?
Steal.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What are a communist's favorite units of time?
Hours.
REVEAL ANSWER
2
Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
He wanted to visit Pluto.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Asked My Date To Meet Me At The Gym, But She Never Showed Up...
Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
What kind of jokes does a quarantined dad tell?
Inside jokes
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Being a cardiac surgeon...
Would be a heart wrenching experience.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My grandfather has a funny story he likes to tell people about how a long time ago he swallowed his wedding ring and then it came out 10 years later. I've heard him tell it many times over the years.
It's old butt gold.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I couldn’t decide on how much lettuce to buy, until my wife helped me think it through.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Doctor: I had to take your colon.
Me why?
REVEAL ANSWER
0
How did the hipster drown?
He went ice skating before it was cool.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
2 fish are in a tank
One says to the other. How do we drive this thing
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why is a minnow always the first suspect for a crime?
Because he's always a little fishy.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
The guy that invented the umbrella was gonna call it the brella.
But he hesitated.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.
Cost me an arm and a leg.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Working at a mirror factory
is definitely something I can see myself doing
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Do you know where in a hospital the invisible man can't hide?
The I. C. U.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
How can you tell when a mummy has a cold?
He starts coffin.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar every time I have pessimistic thoughts.
It’s currently half empty.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.
He has serious selfie steam issues.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to master the entire alphabet.
I don’t know y
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What makes a dad joke a dad joke?
The punchline has to be apparent.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I dated a twin once...
I once dated a twin. My friend asked me how I told them apart. I said Stacy has a beauty mark on her right cheek. And Frank has a beard.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I took the shell of my racing snail, thinking it would help him run faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Call me a taxi!
You're a taxi!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I just watched a video of a drill.
It was a bit boring.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My daughter was playing with my computer when she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
I guess she just craves anarchy.
REVEAL ANSWER
‹
1
2
...
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
...
59
60
›
Search Jokes
Search
Joke of the Day
My dad wanted me to become a fruit farmer like him but I always told him I was scared to do it.
REVEAL ANSWER
Please Login
In order to upvote or downvote you have to login.
Login
Close