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Why can't a father teach his girl about buying bras?
Because a mother knows breast.
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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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Lying about my age is easier
now that I often forget what it is.
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I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
I'm eggnogstic
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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