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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My stoner friend used my daily planner to roll up a joint…
He’s now high on my list of priorities.
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My daughter is smarter than Abraham Lincoln. She can recite the Gettysburg Address, and she's only nine years old.
Lincoln didn't say it until he was 50!
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A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
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My wife accused me of being immature.
I told her to get out of my fortress.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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