The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.

Previous Dates

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Vodka may not be the answer,

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I don’t know why people say cancer is hard to beat

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I woke up this morning and found that someone dumped a bunch of legos on my front door step.

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I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated,

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

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Ladies, if your boyfriend asks for matador equipment for christmas...

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I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall...

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Don't trust atoms.

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How do bees get to school?

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What did the hockey goalie say to his teammates?

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You have to act quickly during a flood.

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

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I ordered a book of puns last week,

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A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery.

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Fun fact: Alligators can grow up to 16 feet

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I've always wanted to be a Millionaire just like my Dad...

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I want my favorite team to be my pallbearers

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Just found out that Aaaargghhh is not a real word.

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I don't know why marvel hasn't tried to put ads on hulk

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If I had a dime every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be like,

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What’s red and bad for your teeth?

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Cheetahs. Cheetahs who?

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When my grandfather was ill, we rubbed lard on his back.

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Why did the static say to the other static?

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What do you call it when a dinosaur farts?

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I took the shell of my racing snail, thinking it would help him run faster.

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What do you say when Newton slows down?

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I find bone puns very

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What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

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You know what's really odd?

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There was a robbery at the Apple Store today.