Riddles
Categories
Login
Submit
Type to search for Riddle here.
Jokes
Login
Submit Joke
The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
A kiwi in an elevator.
REVEAL ANSWER
Previous Dates
0
My twin brother always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess.... we are raised differently.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My son tied his first tie today.
I looked at him and told him "Knot bad son."
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
Bored.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Did you hear about the guy who had the whole left side of his body amputated?
He's alright now.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Did you hear about the new dating site for retired chemists?
It's called "Carbon Dating."
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What does the Hawaiian suicide bomber say?
Aloha ackbar!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Golfer: Caddiemaster, this boy you assigned me isn't even five years old!
Caddiemaster: Better for you, sir. He probably can't count past ten.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why do some people post long jokes here??
This isn't where they be long.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
If you bury someone in the wrong place,
you've made a grave mistake.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
I lost a boxing match with a pirate.
He had a vicious right hook.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Genie: What is your final wish? Boy: I wish I were you.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
You know why I like egg puns?
They crack me up!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I just realized Vampires don't exist in Africa.
Vampires can be killed by Holy Water, and they bless the rains down in Africa.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I used to be indecisive
But now I'm not so sure
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?
Cop: It was a moving violation.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What kind of tea you drink with the Queen?
Royal tea.
REVEAL ANSWER
-1
I'm a walking economy. My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation,
and it's all putting me into a deep depression.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight.
She needs to lighten up.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Migraines aren't real.
They're all in your head.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia
She whispered, "They're right behind you"
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Considering getting my circumcision reversed.
Anyone have any tips?
REVEAL ANSWER
0
How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?
Its not hard
REVEAL ANSWER
2
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
Riceless
REVEAL ANSWER
0
For years, my parents sent me to a child psychologist.
That kid didn’t help me at all.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.
Cost me an arm and a leg.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Although my friend has a lot of hair, he’s paranoid about going bald.
I told him, “It’s all in your head.”
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt.
REVEAL ANSWER
‹
1
2
...
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
...
58
59
›
Search Jokes
Search
Joke of the Day
What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
REVEAL ANSWER
Please Login
In order to upvote or downvote you have to login.
Login
Close