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I'd like to start dieting...
...but I just have too much on my plate right now.
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What do you call a cow that lifts weights?
A BUFFalo.
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Why did the dentist stick some X-rays in his mouth?
Because they were tooth-pics.
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My 8 year old daughter got me with "I can breathe under water"
She filled a cup of water placed it on her head and began to violently and rapidly breathe in and out. The force is strong with her.
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What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
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