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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I'd like to start dieting...
...but I just have too much on my plate right now.
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Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday
Apparently you’re not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say “get a load of this guy” every time someone walks in.
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Why can't you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
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A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.
It was a locomotive.
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What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?
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