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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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I asked my wife to pick up a pumpkin to make pumpkin pie. When she said she couldn't find one at the store, I told her,
"I guess our plans are squashed."
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Why is it so hard to solve a crime in Alabama?
Because everyone has the same DNA
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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?
Father: If you'd clean your room, you'd know where to find things!
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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