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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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What do lawyers wear to work everyday?
Their lawsuit.
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Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
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In college, I double-majored in accounting and dentistry...
Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers.
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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
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