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Time flies when you're having fun.
When you're not having fun it usually takes the bus.
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I just spent $300 for a limousine and found out it doesnt come with a driver.
Cant believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.
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What do you get when you cross an Olympic swimmer with an elephant?
Swimming trunks
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My deaf wife just told me that “we need to talk.”
That was not a good sign.
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
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