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Time flies when you're having fun.
When you're not having fun it usually takes the bus.
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While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused...
I guess it was the delivery!
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My daughter texted me wondering why I was so happy all day.
I replied that it was my cake day, but she never reddit.
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Before the invention of the wheel...
...everything was a drag.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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