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I took my wife to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you, but she wasn't very happy.
I told her next time she can pick the restaurant, if she really hated Subway that much.
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Unfortunately, my obese parrot just died.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
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People told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic
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