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What language do geese speak?
Portugeese..
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Why won't swords go obsolete?
They are cutting edge technology.
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What do you call an owl that does magic?
Whodini!!!
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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