The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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Wanna hear something breathtaking

Previous Dates

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What do you do if you are addicted to seaweed?

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What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

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I came up with a new word yesterday:

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I changed my iPhone name to Titanic.

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Did you hear about the dumb guy who got fired from his job at the M&M's factory?

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I adopted a dog that used to belong to a blacksmith.

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My wife got me an alarm clock out of the blue.

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I once made a belt out of $50 bills

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Last night I dreamed I wrote Lord of the Rings.

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Narnia was a really progressive film

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Why did the two 4s skip dinner?

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Sadly, I've lost 20% of my sight

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You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.

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What do you call 52 pieces of bread?

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How did the whale defend itself?

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Broken bridges really annoy me.

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Why did the archaeologist have a breakdown?

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How does a penguin build its house?

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Why is the letter B so cool?

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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

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Wanna hear a dirty joke?

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Why do trees have so many friends?

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Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

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What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster?

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I don’t mean to toot my own horn

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Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

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Rated

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What sound does a bouncing plane make?

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What do you call a bad interior decorator?

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

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My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type