The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.

Previous Dates

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As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut exactly 3,141 trees.

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What do you tell Simba when he's moving too slow?

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My son said "Look! I'm a 3D printer!"

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How come you can’t starve in the desert?

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Wanna hear a ghost joke?

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Yesterday the doctor told me I was colourblind.

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My son said "Look! I'm a 3D printer!"

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Who writes nursery rhymes and squeezes oranges?

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I'm very suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection...

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What is white, stands in front of the stairs, and can’t go up?

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“Dear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”

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Why do boxers have TGIF written on the inside of their shoes?

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My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.

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I broke my finger last week.

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Won my first cage fight today…

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

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I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.

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What do you call a horse that moves around a lot?

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Dad jokes are at all all-time high during quarantine times

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What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?

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Why did the farmer win an award?

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Educated people are hot

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How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?

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When my wife was still pregnant I used to say

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What is the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job?

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I find bone puns very

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My wife asked me if I thought our kids were spoiled

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Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable.

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A new study found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

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I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet

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What do you say to a giant with his head in the clouds.