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A doctor gave a man 6 months to live
The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another 6 months
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Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
"Yell for help!" wasn't one of them.
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The clouds parted and a voice thundered, "Come forth, and you'll receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, so he just got a toaster.
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Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal!
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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