The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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We're opening a gym called Resolutions. It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks of the year

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Why do police get to riots early?

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My grandfather has a funny story he likes to tell people about how a long time ago he swallowed his wedding ring and then it came out 10 years later. I've heard him tell it many times over the years.

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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.