The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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We're opening a gym called Resolutions. It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks of the year

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My friend asked me how many clowns I saw at the carnival today and I said

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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

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My wife saw an ant picking up a leaf 5 times its body weight, and told me, “Can you imagine being that strong?”