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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
3
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because a suitcase is just not enough
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Previous Dates
0
Working at a mirror factory
is definitely something I can see myself doing
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0
Two lobsters are in a tank. One turns to the other and says,
"Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
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0
Just so everybody's clear,
I'm going to put my glasses on.
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0
What do you call a fairy that has not taken a bath?
Stinker Bell
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0
Two goldfish are in a tank, one turns and says to the other,
“how do you drive this thing?”
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0
Simple Math
If I had 50 cents for every failed math test I every took, I would have like $ 6.30 by now.
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0
A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
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0
The guy that invented the umbrella was gonna call it the brella.
But he hesitated.
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0
I don't know if my ceiling is the best ceiling,
but it's definitely up there!
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1
My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
They're to prevent meltdowns.
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0
The 5 signs of laziness
1.
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0
Son: "Dad, what are clouds made of?"
Dad: "data and Linux servers"
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1
My middle school once had an anti-bulling activity and our teacher all told us "If you see something, say something!"
The blind kid didn't say a word for the rest of the school year.
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0
After a few years, talked with my ex-wife and she still misses me
But her aim is getting better
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0
Lance is a pretty uncommon name today.
In medieval times people were named lance a lot.
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0
I just witnessed a guy getting shot with a paintball gun.
He dyed on impact.
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0
What do you get when you cross an Olympic swimmer with an elephant?
Swimming trunks
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0
No one:
0, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
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0
Did you hear cheese and meat sales have gone up in India?
Apparently there is a New Delhi.
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0
At a clown’s funeral, everybody brought flowers.
There wasn’t a dry face in the house.
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1
Dad jokes are at all all-time high during quarantine times
Analysts say it's the worst pundemic ever recorded in modern history.
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0
My daughter asked "What's a light year?"
I said: "It's a regular year but lower in calories".
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0
What does BOAT stand for?
Bust out another thousand.
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0
What happened when the dog ate the firefly?
It barked with de-light!
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1
What do you call a bunch of chess nerds bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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0
Why does wally wear a striped shirt?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted
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0
Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
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0
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-Cola
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0
What does DNA stand for?
National dyslexic association
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0
What do you call a bodybuilder in jail?
Mitochondrion.
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1
I ran over 5 miles today
Like, what are the odds they were all named Miles? Crazy.
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Joke of the Day
Why do elephants have trunks?
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