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Just so everybody's clear,
I'm going to put my glasses on.
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
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As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“You know, one would have been enough.”
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What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
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